Needed urgently: 140 million mathematicians; prayer gurus…, please

We have been down this road before. In fact, just about three years ago we were singing similar tunes. That time the blame game was centered squarely on whether the weather had been conducive or not. This time around one wonders where exactly the blame will mostly go.

Three years ago, after the Super Eagles of Nigeria failed to get the better of their Angolan counterparts in a Germany 2006 FIFA world cup qualification match most people blamed the Nigerian football authorities for allowing the match to be played in the northern Nigerian city of Kano. The argument then was that the weather in Kano was too hot and therefore favoured the Angolan national team more than it did the Nigerian team which comprised almost entirely Europe-based players.

Another debacle is here again so soon. This time around, the same Super(?) Eagles have failed to beat Tunisia in another world cup qualifier, this time in Abuja. We may harp on about poor technical input by the coaching staff and we would all be right. We could also point out that the weather this time was this or that and again, we may not be too far from the mark. We may also accuse God of siding with the Tunisians because the players and coaching staff were observing the Ramadan fast and therefore, were spiritually closer to God. Hence, His propensity to want to side with them given the prevailing spiritual gulf between the two teams at the time of play. This, too, may not be too anal a claim for us to throw around given the circumstances.

So, long after the Tunisians land in Tunis and between now and November this year when those who will fly to SA next year start to book their plane tickets for the Mundial, let our usual 140 million mathematicians, statisticians, stargazers, Shamans, coaches, analysts and what have you get down to doing what they do best. Let’s all start all the permutation about how a blade of grass on the turf in the Mozambican national stadium in Maputo will lead to a miss-kick by a Tunisian defender and how an onrushing Mozambican attacker will gleefully plant the ball in the Tunisian net for the winning goal. Let us calculate how many points Tunisia could secure and how many they would not secure in the next two matches. Let us declare a national praying and fasting day and special vigil in aid of our Dodos’ quest to get to SA 2010. Let the delirium set in about the ‘ifs,’ the ‘it could have beens,’ the ‘this was good and that was bad’ and the ‘we can still make it because…’ And to it all I say a fervent a-m-e-n as a patriotic Nigerian.

But this much was evident this evening:

• The FIFA ranking is a terrible lie especially where Nigeria is concerned.

• For the past 13 years and even more, there has not been anything super about the Nigerian Super Eagles.

• Football teams are built, not just picked. To build one you need football players, not tourists or vacationers. And in football, as in pretty much everything else, you either have the quality or you don’t. In that case,if you haven’t bought the ticket, you quite simply shouldn’t expect to win the lottery

• On the evidence, we shall tread this road all over again soon, for the calendar may not be that easily cheated, after all.